[Intro: Male Lead]
Badge printer coughing under office-white light,
Logo mug leaning half an inch to the right.
The handbook shines in company blue.
Welcome to the family.

[Verse 1: Male Lead]
At nine, reception spelled my last name wrong.
Twelve passwords waited on a paper sheet.
The laptop fan drowned out the welcome song;
my desk arrived without a working seat.
One bruised banana ruled the fruit bowl tray.
The update bar stayed stuck there half the day.

[Pre-Chorus: Male Baritone]
Victor raised a paper cup to me:
"Around here, no one stands alone."

[Chorus: Male Lead with Gang Vocals]
Welcome to the family, your login lands by three.
Here's a mug that leaks, a chair with one bad wheel.
Bring your whole self, lose your night;
we call that culture done just right.
Smile for the group shot, count to three.
Welcome to the family.

[Verse 2: Male Lead]
My mentor lived inside a meeting chain.
Her status flipped from "busy" into red.
The quiet room shared drywall with the servers;
the server rack kept rattling through my head.
Fiona wrote each question in her book.
My manager sent back a thumbs-up look.

[Chorus: Male Lead with Gang Vocals]
Welcome to the family, your login lands by three.
Here's a mug that leaks, a chair with one bad wheel.
Bring your whole self, lose your night;
we call that culture done just right.
Smile for the group shot, count to three.
Welcome to the family.

[Instrumental Break: Copier Percussion and Angular Guitar]

[Bridge: Male Lead]
Beneath my chair, a former hire had carved:
"Ask where the unpaid weekends go."

[Bridge: Female Lead]
I tore the slogan from the board.
"Keep that. There are things I need to know."

[Final Chorus: Male Lead and Female Lead Duet with Gang Vocals]
Welcome to the family; the login came at three.
The mug still leaks, but now we keep receipts.
Bring your whole self, speak it straight;
watch who smiles and who takes notes.
We kept the note; Victor missed a beat.
Welcome to the family.

[Outro: Male Lead]
At six, my calendar flashed red:
"Culture breakfast. Attendance expected."
The badge light blinked a sickly green.
Welcome to the family.